To be willing to honor a woman with the gift of sacred yoni massage is a heart-centered gesture with healing ripple effects. When a woman’s sexual and creative life force wounds are healed, her healing and empowerment spreads out to touch all those around her. A man or woman’s willingness to co-create this beautiful state of being by giving a sacred yoni massage to a woman is recognized and honored.
You can download the full 2 hour instructional yoni massage video here.
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina. It literally means "Divine Passage" or "Sacred Temple." Yoni massage is the ritual of honoring and healing this part of the body. In this ritual, you touch the yoni not from a place of creating arousal and orgasm, but from and intention to be in joy and wonder of this beautiful part of the body. The seed of a woman’s sexuality is in her heart. By following the guidance tantra offers, women learn to connect their heart to their yoni’s pleasure. This leads to a place where the goddess can experience her yoni as fully as she does her heart. There is so much emotion and trauma held in the yoni. To open there and release that clears the way for a whole new level of sexual experience. This process of healing the yoni, of releasing fears and trauma, is like pulling the weeds from a garden to allow space for beautiful flowers to grow. Tantra allows women to plant these flowers within their bodies — flowers of love, joy and ecstasy.
Yoni massage will often bring more sensitivity and aliveness to the female g spot, and lead to the amazing experience of female ejaculation, which releases amrita, the sacred feminine waters. Through this sacred ritual, the goddess learns to release old beliefs that are keeping her from her full sexual enjoyment and her full potential as a lover.
Begin your sacred yoni massage by creating a time and space for the ritual. Please view our Setting Up page for more information.
After you have created a beautiful space for the ritual, begin the solo practice of grounding and centering yourself so you can fully come into partnership. A great way to do this is by practicing our Sacred Tree Meditation
Flowing Into Sacred Space
After taking a few breaths together in the sacred tree meditation, ask the goddess to lie on her stomach for the beginning of the ritual. Many women feel safest while reposing on their stomachs comfortably, and this is an excellent way to create a safe foundation for this sacred ritual. Using an oil you have selected, place the back of your palm on the goddess’s body and warm the oil in your hand. Slowly and gently begin long, deliberate and healing strokes on her legs, thighs, back and neck, checking in from time to time to see how your goddess is doing. See her as if you are looking with a new pair of eyes. Touch her as if this is the first time your hands and fingers have experienced the sensation of her skin. See our Tantric Massage ritual for more information on how to perform tantric massage.
As the giver, lead the breath and focus on staying present for your partner and for yourself. Check in frequently with your goddess to make sure she is still breathing, and remind her to do so with your own deep belly breath. Many times when an uncomfortable emotion surfaces, we hold our breath. This shuts off our resources and makes it more difficult to move the energy. Therefore, be aware of how breath is moving with both of you and don’t be afraid to take a lead role in the breath work.
Take a moment now and help the goddess turn over on her back. Place the pillows under her knees and make sure she is comfortable and relaxed. Look into each other’s eyes and connect with breath and soulful gazing. Ask her how she is doing and check for any outward signs of resistance or unease. If she verbalizes or otherwise shows any fear about moving forward, give her space to explore her emotions. Contain her anxiety, if there is any, and make sure she knows her safety comes first.
Continue loving the goddess as she lies on her back opening up her heart to you. Awaken her legs, belly, breasts, arms, and so on until you have traveled from her toes to the top of her head. (Again following our Tantric Massage ritual for guidance. )
After establishing that your goddess is relaxed, connected and feeling safe on her back, move on now to the external yoni massage. Squeeze a small amount of oil or lubricant onto your hand, warm it, and apply it to the mound of the yoni. Apply just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside, then begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips. Take your time here–there is no need to rush. Continue breathing and connecting. Relax, surrender to the moment, and enjoy giving the massage.
Now gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the yoni’s inner lips. Remember to take the process second by second and minute by minute, and continue breathing. Look into each other’s eyes as much as possible, as this will help you remain connected. Encourage your goddess to tell you how she is feeling. How is the pressure, speed, depth? Let her guide you based on her personal needs; however, focus your full attention on the pleasurable sensation as too much conversation may interfere with the energy you are creating.
The next step in the external portion of this sacred ritual is to stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Be very gentle, as the clitoris is up to four times more sensitive than the lingam (penis). Squeeze it softly between your thumb and index fingers, watching your goddess and breathing together with her. Be aware that you are not attempting to bring your goddess to orgasm–this is a massage. She may become aroused, of course, but encourage her to relax and breathe into the moment.
Before entering the yoni place one hand on her heart and cup your other hand over her mound and simply breath. After a few breaths ask her if she feels safe for you to enter her. Slowly and carefully now, insert the middle finger of your hand into the yoni. Encourage your goddess to pull your finger in and move at her pace. One you have penetrated her very gently move and massage the inside of the yoni with this finger. Be present, breathe, and take your time. Feel North, South, East and West, varying the depth, speed, and pressure. Remember once again that this is a massage in which you are nurturing, honoring and relaxing the goddess and her yoni.
Now with your palm up and your finger enveloped, move the middle finger in a "come hither" gesture or back toward the base of your palm. You will feel a soft, spongy area just under the pubic bone and behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or sacred spot. The goddess may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or she may feel pleasure. She may also feel nothing. Allow her to have her feelings without trying to fix them. If she needs to urinate encourage her to get up, if there is discomfort ease up on the pressure or move to a place in her yoni where she feels pleasure. Experiment with the pressure and speed of movement. Move North, South, East, West or in circles with your finger. Take your time, breathe and be very gentle.
Moving in Time, the Yoni Clock
For many women this may be the first time someone had lovingly touched their yoni without a sexual intention. It can be very pleasurable but the intention is simply to be in the moment and explore with love. Body mapping (discovering where your body feels pleasure, pain, or numbeness) is a way to connect a physical sensation in the body with a location and greatly helps increase sensitivity and awareness. Imagine that the yoni has a clock face on it. Start by telling your goddess that you are touching at the entrance to her yoni towards her belly Twelve o’clock. Move your finger, and gently massage inward, penetrating her yoni but staying at Twelve o’clock. Pause at each spot and breathe into the experience, encouraging the goddess to do the same. Remember that she may need to get up and go to the restroom. She may feel pleasure or she may feel some unexpected pain or emotion come up. The physical sensation she may experience might feel like broken glass, or it may be a dull, burning, or even a sharp sensation. You may feel a pulse point there, a place where you can feel a blood vessel pulsing. Breathe, hold the space and connect with your goddess as she processes whatever emotion she needs to process. Use your other hand to comfort her and reassure her that she is safe. Have her take a deep breath, hold it and then release it with a powerful exhalation. Ask her to imagine releasing the pain or emotion in that breath. Move to a place that is more pleasurable and then reconnect to her and that same spot. Move on to the next spot when she is ready. Repeat this process around the entire "clock" One o’clock, 2 o’clock, etc of her yoni until you are back at 12 o’clock, the sacred spot. Explore each part of her yoni as if you have never touched her before. Be bold and gentle alternating between deep exploration and light touch. Always remembering to breath and stay in the moment.
As the massage winds down, allow your goddess time to return. Maintain eye contact and gently remove your hand from her yoni. Check in with your goddess to see what she needs. Continue to be a safe container for her emotions. Cuddle or hold your goddess as long as you like afterwards and bask in the beautiful energy you have both created by connecting in this special way. Give her as much space and time as she needs to regroup and make sure you have food and water or juice available to help both of you get grounded. Be careful to not flow into lovemaking. Allow this ritual to be complete by itself. There is a powerful bond of safety that is created in the sacred yoni massage by allowing the goddess to fully receive the gift without the expectation that she give back in any way. Lovemaking, although beautiful in experience will greatly take away from this gift.